If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
