lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
