She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
