I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
