This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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