But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sponge bath it is.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
