I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
