I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
