Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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