I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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