Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
