tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
