So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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