don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sorry about my life...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
