happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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