i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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