I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
