I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
