I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So vagazzling was a success
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
