he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
As shirtless as possible
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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