dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
