chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
