Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
