is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
