see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
