i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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