I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
