i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
