she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
