How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
