I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
