That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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