..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
