no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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