Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
