If i come over, it means nothing
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I seem to have left my pride at pride
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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