If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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