Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
