I didn't shave. On purpose
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
