when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
