glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
