So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
