Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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