I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
