Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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