I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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