He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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