I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
