How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
