i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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