So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
